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Thursday, November 29

Goliath no.2 down!

phew. goodbye GE3210. must have killed a lot of trees by studying this module. horrendous amount of readings. didn't even finish all those that i printed. thank God really its over. thank God i know how to answer, although there's one part of a question i didn't answer properly. but well, it has been fought well. i leave it at the cross for Him to gauge my grades.

although i'm only halfway through my exams, but i know i've already won. not in terms of grades i guess, but i have overcome a kind of fear i always faced when i go for exams, when its just few minutes to the start of the paper, the fear i had was gone. thank God.

thanks to mummy, jie, kor, carol, audrey, wendy, wanhui, aunty bao and all who prayed for me! its really nice to know that i have so many prayer warriors accompanying me in this fight.

for the past two papers, i have been revising on the bus and also listening to praise and worship songs. when i pray, i always pray to Him as a Father to bring me, this little girl who used to be so scared of exams, and i told Him to teach me not to be scared. i asked Him to be standing right outside the exam hall and wait for me while i do the paper. You know i can feel Him really just somewhere around when i'm doing. I imagine Him standing and peeping from outside the exam hall. There's this impression i have on me that He is smiling at me. I smiled at the thought of that.

and to Him: thank you for your awesome presence. i love u Father.

Hallelujah what a saviour
I owe everything to Him
Hallelujah what a saviour
Hallelujah to my King!

and as for grades... i leave it all to Him. =)

Heli Dont ask me why 4:52 PM

Wednesday, November 28

1 down!

I took my GE2221 - Nature and Society yesterday. Couldn't comment on whether is it hard or easy. But this time round, at least i think i know how to answer the questions. Before i reached school while i was in the bus, a question suddenly struck me, "what was David doing before he went to kill Goliath? Was he worshipping or something?" - that moment i couldn't get the answer because my bible wasn't with me.

I just read 1 Samuel 17:34 onwards and David was talking to Saul, telling him how he fought the lion and bear, and how he is so sure God is going to deliver Goliath into his hands. And Saul blessed him, and dressed David up with a coat of armor and a bronze helmet, and gave him a sword too. But David was not comfortable with that, instead he just took five smooth stones from the stream and put them in the pouch of his shepherd's bag and with his sling in his hand, he approached the monster of Philistine.

So i guess, they didn't record about him worshipping. But he went to face goliath in an attire he was comfortable in, although at that point in time, the armor and helmet may seem to be useful in any case in a fight he was about to take on. Yet, he choose not to, and with what he is comfortable in, without hesitation, he went for the fight. And (my favourite verse of the year...)

"As Goliath moved closer to attack, David quickly ran out to meet him." 1 Samuel 17:48

So imagining what the situation was before the fight, i guess there are a few things to note.
1) He was comfortable.
2) He was so sure God is going to deliver Goliath into his hands.
3) He never hesitate and has no fear, no qualms, and he quickly ran out to face the enemy.

in the case of my exams, it would seem that i need to...
1) Be comfortable.
2) Be sure that you do your best, God will do the rest.
3) Be brave, don't fear the paper at all.

After my paper, i ponder ya. Its always the fear that grips me at the first few minutes of the exam and it gets bigger and my mind starts to turn blank. Fear is the factor.

But no i shall not make fear the limelight of my exam this time. God will be the factor. the x-factor. I want to be like David this time.

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but i come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and i'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today i will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those who gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves, for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands." 1 Samuel 45 - 47

Oh i haven't say did i worship before the paper, have i? Well 30mins before the paper i was still trying to read whatever i could in my hands, 20mins before.. i decided no. And i started to really sing in my heart because i remember this verse few days ago..

"Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord." Ephesians 5:19

and i did just that. after the exams, i came out not very sure if i could really do well this time but hoping badly i would la. guess whats after ephesians 5:19...

"always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." ephesians 5:20

If i do well, i will praise the Lord.
If i don't do well... i will also praise the Lord.

=) adios. back to my studies. up next GE3210 - Natural Resources, Politics and Practice.

Heli Dont ask me why 9:01 AM

Saturday, November 24

God, i'm trying hard. don't let me give up.

mummy went on mission trip for 7 days.
papa went on holiday.
exams in a few days.
i feeling torn inside out literally drained out. But i'm going to hold on. I can.

i am telling myself that, the bigger problems seems to me, the harder i will fight.
even if it is to fight loneliness, discouragement and whatever.
all the more i am going to cling onto God, even tighter than before.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5.

I know whatever i am going through, God, you know. You know what my heart is made up of. You know the extent to which i can be stretched... because you are the one who created me. You are my Father.

"sing and make music in your heart to the Lord." Ephesians 5:19

This is what i will do to combat what i am facing now. sing and make music in my heart to You.

Tough times do occur to everybody. But not everybody can survive tough times. We need a hope that is everlasting, that is real and not empty. And there is only one person we can put our hope in.

I hope in this person - Jesus.

"Be joyful in hope" Romans 12:12. Yes, i will be joyful in hope.

Heli Dont ask me why 8:13 PM

Saturday, November 17

Don't Give Up Ng He Li.

Take a long look at the shore that awaits you.
Don't be fooled by the fog of the slump.
The finish may be only strokes away.

Do one more reading, write one more essay, try one more question, pen down one more working...

...just swim one more stroke. you can make it.

"David found strength in the Lord his God" - 1 Samuel 30:6

Heli Dont ask me why 9:24 PM

Monday, November 12

Focus on giants - you stumble.
Focus on God - your giants tumble.

we always win. don't we?

Heli Dont ask me why 6:36 PM

Thursday, November 1

Who Am I

I just got back my GE 3210 group project - the one that requires me to take photos of those weird places (going to Loyang temple, the Jurong West tree and trying to find that green parrot along Little India). A-. *smiles.

I thank God for sending such good, responsible and diligent group members to work with me.
I thank God for pouring His favour upon us, our group that we may receive good grades.
I thank God for.. always helping me in little and big things that i do. =)

I must admit, that at times when things don't go the way i want to, i always ask God, "Why? Why didn't you help me?" But i was wrong. It wasn't wrong to ask "why" but it was wrong to say that He didn't help. He is sovereign and He is the best person to decide how things should go for the best for me. I am not able to see and perceive how He does. I can only ask and pray that He will teach me how.

I know sounds easy to say all these. Maybe when i'm in some difficult times i would find what i've written a whole chunk of crap. But i guess as i grow and mature, things start to find its way to acceptance. and understanding. I thank God for Him patienly teaching me and showing me the way.

"But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the Lord will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12

Thank God that he will be with me. He goes before me to clear away all dangers, to make sure that the path i'm taking is good for me, not too much for me to bear. And most importantly, i can come out of it all with victory and triump for me to claim!

And all these.. its not because of who i am. its because of who He is. =)

Not because of who i am
But because of what You have done
Not because of what i have done
But because of who You are.

Heli Dont ask me why 2:50 PM

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